Silence
by CaringisandmightbeCreepy
Summary: When Faith is finally confronted by the First, knowing she is stuck in the game now, she fears the fight, and takes her radical actions.
1. Default Chapter

"You're a bad girl. Ever since the day you were born. You had to have dirty hair, dirty like your father" 

Flash.

"Mommy, please. I promise I'll be good."

Flash.

"You horrible, slut. Bitch! Look what you've done!"

Flash.

"No more hitting please mommy, please."

Flash.

"Shut up!"

Flash.

"Why is mommy sleeping in the bathtub?"

Gasp. Waking up screaming, sweating, weeping, every night it's the same. Why can't she end it? Chocolate brown eyes scan intimately around the night- shaded bedroom, cramped with quiescent bodies of potential slayers, little girls. That's all they are, tiny girls with weapons.

Before she can let her thoughts meander anymore, the once 'dark' slayer is swinging her legs over the side of the bed, gazing out the window in an adrenaline pumping tranquility. Once her breath is regained, she let's out an infinitesimal sigh and rakes her hands through her long, glossy mahogany hair.

_"Dirty hair, just like your bastard father!"_

Before long she is close to tears again. These dreams keep happening. Over and over again they are happening. She doesn't know why she's dreaming of her vile childhood again, but purely wants it to impede. Standing and vigilantly maneuvering over and around a few potentials, sleeping on the floor beneath her bed, Faith wandered down the stairs in a daze.

 She needed to kill something. She wasn't quite amazed though when she entered the kitchen to find the youngest Summers' eating a banana as she leaned over the kitchen counter.

"Can't sleep either?" Her voice is a mere rasp. With an all but surprised glimpse up, Dawn looked over the Rogue slayer and then nodded with a sigh. "One of the potentials in my room keeps snoring." Dawn seemed quite amused at her own words, yet somehow cruelly irritated.

 "I guess I'll sleep on the couch, if I can go back to sleep that is." Letting out a quite perceptibly bogus chuckle, Faith takes a seat atop the counter; letting her lankly legs dangle slightly. She falls to silence as her eyes wander and become unfocused again.

_"Damn it girl, stay in your room! I swear to god I'll blow your brains out!" _

"Faith? Faith? You okay?" Before she knows it, she's crying silently. Why do you keep haunting me? She silently pleads before turning back to Dawn.

"I-I'm fine." But is she really?Disturbed by dreams of people of her past, what other choice does she have but to smile and grin.

"Baby, maybe you should lie down. You look sick." And then there's that voice. Faith's eyes close for a split second before she opens them and turns toward it.

"Mommy?" Dread straining through her eyes, Dawn only takes a step back, peering towards where Faith's eyes were sheltered, where there was nothing to her. The usual rationalization ran through her head, The First. She decides to leave her alone. Watching this slayer suffer is a bit too much for her now.

With a chilling silence, she pads back up to her room, shutting and locking the door. Faith only stares. Her eyes are fixated on the reflection of her mother before her. Her mother looked nothing like her, blonde hair, brown eyes, and quite the dissimilar features.

"Sweetie, you really should get some sleep. You look absolutely dreadful." Before she can respond, the image, the non-existent takes a step toward her, and then takes a long swift gulp from a bottle of Wild Turkey at her side. A long line of tears march down the slayer's face as she forces herself to look away.

 "You're not real." She whispers. The mother only stares, a slightly crooked grin playing on her lips. "Believe me, I can make it seem almost real." With that one single comment, nine simple words, she sends chills down Faith's spine. Before much longer has passed, her voice is slurred and drooping like an elder's skin.

"How in the hell didja' get here? They accept you? Like you at all? Do they trust you with each other's lives?" Silence was the only retort she could get from the crying slayer. Silence was all that was ever in Faith. She wouldn't ever fight back, not against this, and not against herself.

_"Why is mommy sleeping in the bathtub?" _

 Continuing is a quite possibility. If I get some reviews that is.


	2. Two

Today was foggy. Fog, the most infrequent gentleman of weather in Sunnydale. But today, the fog was an eclipse, blocking out the sun so that you couldn't see two feet in front of you. It was the kind of fog that let you see miles and miles away, but not anything set before you. These were the kind of days Dawn hated most. It usually meant trouble was in the air... Or possibly rain. Either way, it meant trouble.

When her mind could not sleep anymore, she slipped her legs over the side of her bed, glad no potentials reined in her room at this morning. As she pulled herself towards the door, not bothering to resume her normal clothes and discard that of her pajamas, the previous night's happenings slowly surfaced in her mind.

She had never seen Faith so terrified. Faith was always the strong one, the rock of the group. She provided witty banter and a remark that easily raised everyone's spirits, though stillheld her position of the 'Rogue', all at the same time. She shrugged the thought off and continued on downstairs.

It usually wasn't this quiet in the house, especially in the morning when potentials and Scoobies were just waking and scrounging throughout the house for some sort of 'grub'.

As soon as she took her last steps off the stairs, the eerie silence grew. There was nobody in the living room... a change. She peered over into the kitchen, then slowly let a frown cover her features. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, potentials, Giles, Willow, Xander, Andrew, Buffy, Spike even, and Anya.

No Faith... Everyone's own faces had their representative of gloom. "What's going on?" Her voice cracked slightly, mainly from the awakening she had just made, and the worry of what she was about to hear. Buffy, eyes not glassy like the most of the potentials looked up at Dawn, silent for the most part.

Without a word, she left her spot at the kitchen sink, brushed past her, and grabbed her hand as she did. She led the brunette into the living room, then towards the couch, all the while peering at the ground. "Dawn..." she started, clearing her throat after a moment.

"Dawn… "She started, though almost immediately reencountered."Faith is... "She sighed, pausing once more."She's dead."she whispered.Even though Faith wasn't necessarily, **Any**body's favorite person, she was a part of the army, and that meant there was no ridiculing among them.

For a moment, it was as if Dawn hadn't heard, simply waiting for Buffy to go on until the words slowly sunk in. "H-.. How? I was... I saw her last night. I talked to her..." Buffy only takes a seat beside her sister, calm. "We think..." she paused, correcting herself, "She killed herself. Spike... Found her this morning."

Dawn's chocolate eyes could only water and stare at her sister's. What had gone wrong? Sure, Faith had seemed shaky last night but... she wouldn't do something like this... Would she?

"The ambulance is on its way." She whispered, raking her fingers through her long, blonde locks that Dawn had envied for so long.

Finally, after few moments of a silent understanding, Dawn softly spoke. "I don't understand.. Why did... What was wrong?" Buffy had a look of just slight suspension, as if holding something back, unsure if she should release the information into the open. "Who knows?" She finally whispered, standing.

* * *

-Previous Night- Faith's POV

Even as I hear my Ma'svoice, rollin' around through my mind, I can't even begin to compute what I'm doin'. There's a knife in my hand, there's blood all over the bathroom floor, and a body at my feet.

Guess' I'm really in the game now.

The entity looks up at me, watches for a moment, then smiles. I hate it. I hate the smile that portrays her lips. I hate the gleam in her eyes that takes me on the guilt trip of what I've just done. I hate myself for trusting it, listening to it. But, hell, I'm just Faith. The killer, the liar, the cheater. The Rogue. It's all I'll ever be.

That's also what she said. They'll only see me as what I was, rather than who I'm trying to be. I'm just a killer in cold blood. And that's what the eyes of the girl lying below me is screaming out. I killed her 'cause she told me to. I killed her because that's who I am. That's who I do.

I gotta get outta' here.

I shall continue if more reviews are brought before thee! –Dodges tomatoes-


	3. Three

Yea, yea Anonymous Reviewer "", my chapters are short. I know. But the thing is, I'm a very busy person... I don't have much time to write 2000 word long chapters. But, the good thing is I'm updating almost every day. So, be happy. I am. ï 


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